I have been shown that it is not fate, or God or whatever we want to blame / thank for our life turning out the way it is – it is in fact Ourselves!

As a medium I have been shown many things by my spirit guides and I have seen the world of spirit on more than one occasion.

I have been told in these communications, that we are the ones who "write" our life plan before we leave Spirit to come here in the physical.

We choose when or if to come here at all.

We may choose to write ourselves a life with tough and heartrending challenges in order to gain insight and knowledge into what we can endure, what our limits are, or to understand what it is that motivates us here when we are so far removed from Spirit.

We have "amnesia" concerning our life eternal while we go through the trials of physical life because it would be like cheating on an exam if we already knew why we are going through this terrible time, or this phase of extreme happiness.

We can receive guidance while we are here, but not access to the full Plan.

Only when we return to Spirit can we determine whether we learned what we set out to.

We review our plan, play it back like a movie even – and assess whether we lived our life as we should and were the best person we could be. If it turns out that we didn’t get it right, we learn a lesson still.

We can choose if and when we ever come here, we choose who we are born to, what happens to us – all the big stuff, even how and when we die is written by ourselves.

When we go back Home we can access all the information our soul has experienced during this life and can add and compare it with our previous experiences over other lifetimes or from our time back in spirit form and become aware again of how these experiences make us grow on a spiritual level as an eternal soul.

Spirit guides are just like you or I, in that they can decide to come back too - but obviously not during a life span of a soul they have agreed to look out for.

Once we are back Home and have worked out our own lessons from a life here, we can also choose to act as guides to others who are our friends in spirit if or when they decide to come here. 

Lets say the big stuff  are landmarks in life, labelled A, B, C and so on, (e.g. birth, marriage, children, losing loved ones, serious illness, our own death). How we get from A to B to C etc.. that’s down to our own free will and choices we make while we are here in the physical life.

We question "why me?" often while we are here, or may feel like a victim, but in truth we have previously given ourselves the challenge of going through it.

I too have had some horrible times, still do in fact, but knowing why they happen gives me more of a sense of control - we are only as capable as our choices.

I guarantee we become stronger souls for all the hardship and trials in each life we choose to experience.

Some situations cannot be altered, as we exercise our own free will and choice while we are down here and sometimes that leads to bad choices with consequences further down the line.

But how you choose to accept your situation makes a difference to your happiness with whatever you have left.

Choose to be unhappy in life, and you shall be unhappy. We need to grieve and mourn for the losses we have, and move through them to the brighter days again.

If you choose acceptance and to live your life to the best of your ability - you can find happiness and a reason to go on -  no matter how dire your situation seems.

Look at how many people with seemingly unsurmountable problems just get on with life and let no hurdle stop them.

Be inspired by them and choose to improve your life where you can, and know that the ultimate design is always your own, as you decided before this lifetime began..